Comfortably numb

So Saturday was predictably horrendous.  Four years since we got engaged…

To be fair it did have its good points. I saw people, ate pizza, drank wine, put on the mask, and played the game. Other than that…I was a wreck. An unstoppable, leaking, wailing, hopeless wreck.

Since then I seem to have achieved some sort of numb, which is distinctly more restful, though I doubt it’s healthy. I expect it’s a temporary reprieve. There are more big dates coming up, and more stuff that I’m going to have to cope with and deal with on my own, where once he would have been.

Being alive is hard work. But it’s work that has to be done. Life doesn’t currently come with options…

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