Still don’t get Thursdays

“It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”

Other than the odd member of staff in shops and the like, and my fab physio, I haven’t spoken to anyone in person since Sunday night. I’ve barely spoken to anyone on the phone, or on social media. By which I mean people who are my people, not family. Or at the very least acquaintances. Either way, seen or spoken to neither.

Sometime earlier this week I was out and about. On my own, obvs. At one point I realised that absolutely nobody knew where I was or what I was doing. Which was and is a very weird and strange feeling. I haven’t figured out if it’s good strange or bad strange… It’s very hard to separate all the feelings. A part of it is possibly liberating. Another part is scary. Another part is very lonely. And that’s just three parts of a many splendoured problem.

And speaking of feeling, I’ve also not been feeling great for the last couple of days – some bug or another – so I haven’t been able to do my second job. Which is where at least I get to talk to some people, even if it is just part of the job. Some people is better than no people. Put a smile on, play nice, fake it until maybe I make it…

In the meantime I’m writing here, because I literally have no-one to talk to. It’s still just me, pretty much just here, feeling rubbish, eating rubbish, sitting on my increasingly fat a*se, sleeping like it’s a vocation, and drowning in the waves…

Grief. Loneliness. Depression. The struggle is real…and just in case you were wondering, it’s no fun at all. Mind you, that’s probably ok, I don’t really know what fun is these days anyway…

Yeah, I know, poor me, poor me…*rolling eyes*…

One thought on “Still don’t get Thursdays”

  1. Thank you for still writing.

    Grief. Loneliness. Depression. The struggle is real… You’re the only person I know who is able to articulate how truly sh-t all this is.

    Sending big hugs and much love xx

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